The holiday season is always particularity rough to be no contact with a parent. However it is absolutely necessary for your emotional (and possibly physical) well being to keep your distance from these lunatics, but being the caring individual that you are there still may be guilt and sadness on your part. You are not the one in the relationship incapable of feeling after all so be thankful for that at the very least!
The Narcissist is a wily character. They've worked on your emotions for many, many years and are actually quite genius at manipulating you whether near or far. What can you do about this dilemma you ask? Accept your fate. No amount of Christmas magic is gonna change this no matter how hard you pray for some awakening on their part. Not happening, my friend, so stop fucking with your own head.
There is a reason why you've suffered at the hands of a mad man/woman. I'm not asking you to forgive that person, see them or even give them a Christmas/Hannukah phone call. Stop pretending that this person loves you deep down inside. They don't. They can't and they won't ever because love is not something they are equipped to dish out. They have no clue what love is.
You lived through what you did for a reason. It was not in vain. If you can get to a place of understanding within that mind of yours that never stops reeling you will discover that beyond hatred and darkness there is hope. You do not have to ever accept that you were mistreated and abused. I am not here to tell you to "get over it", but I am here writing to tell you to move the fuck FORWARD and past the abuse and not let it turn you into a bitter asshole! Just keep moving. One step at a time. Moving is the key so stay outta that damn bed of yours all weekend!
If you reach out to the malignant NPD parent you will not feel better. You will feel so much worse and then you will enter the vicious cycle of beating yourself up for extending an olive branch in the first place. You'll assume you've reverted and moved backwards. Please do NOT do this to yourself. You are an amazing creature! Who else could withstand the trauma you did and STILL have such kindness in your heart that you can't even bear the thought of hurting your abuser's feelings?? Don't worry, you won't hurt their feelings because they don't actually have any!! You may piss them off when the holiday comes and goes without a peep from you, but too fucking bad! Take care of you this holiday. Be your own care taker!
I just wanted to take a quick moment and tell you I can relate to EVERY damn emotion you are having particularly at this time of the year. The melancholy, the depression, the loneliness. I truly feel ya. I am sending each of you so much love and strength. You CAN do this and when you come through on the other side (around January 2nd-ha ha) you will be even more wonderful than you already are! Trust me...this ain't my first trip to the rodeo dealing with these crazy ass holidays every year and all the doubt and uncertainty they can stir up.
If no one else is around to tell you then please let me do it-
You deserve peace. You are entitled to love without conditions. You are fucking awesome!
Leave a comment or email me Almostpennycandy@gmail.com
Check out these sites as well :)
Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers-No Contact
Children of Narcissistic Parents-Resources